Chapter 26: What I learned in India

Hola amigos
These things I have learned, while in India:

• Delhi is surprisingly green and surprisingly nice. There is also a surprising sense of peace and calm in India, that I had not expected at all.
• Indian drivers are really the best in the world. The traffic is truly one of the wonders of the modern world. A ceaseless surging flow of cars, cows, rickshaws, bicycles, cows, trucks, cows, cows, tuk-tuks, buffalo, dogs, pedestrians, hawkers, motorbikes, people wheeling carts, scooters, and of course, more cows. The traffic all flows with no traffic lights, apparently no fixed road rules, a million hair-breadth near misses, but no accidents and no lost tempers. But it is unnerving. We came within 4 inches of bumping a family of five on a motorbike (Mom on back, sideways, with an infant in each arm, Dad driving and junior propped on the handle bars). I kid you not!
• Apparently, the reasons why the holy cows hang out in the middle of the road is that they like the breeze from the passing busses and trucks. The cows wander the city freely, eating all the garbage - really makes you think twice about that delicious glass of milk - but then somehow wend their way back home at dusk. Homing holy cows.
• No one, but no one, avoids the Delhi tummy. And boy, they really do mean it when they say Immodium Plus stops everything. I also have a bad case of cuisinitis: a desperate desire to eat any food other than Indian. But look on the silver lining: at least the second bout of Delhi tummy cured the constipation caused by Immodium plus.
• Listen to your atrologer. L.M. Sherma told me, amongst other things, that my unlucky colour was red and the next morning I couldn't find my swim trunks and so I wore my red shorts to the pool and no sooner had I plonked myself down on a deck chair than a pigeon shat on my chest, and some of it bounced onto my lip! I am still grossed out, even though it happened 6 days ago.
  
• The Taj Mahal is far, far more beautiful in the morning light than pictures can do justice to. A monument to undying love and an incredibly romatic story. It took 20,000 workers 20 years to complete it. I could tell you more, but why should I do all the work? Go Google it, if you're interested.
• Unintended humour. Our guide, Dashrat, announcing ponderously at the end of a tour of beautiful red sandstone Mogul mausoleum, "This Monument is Over". Actually, the place was gorgeous, and so not over. Red-gold sandstone, with cool shaded rooms, latticed screens, the silence punctuated by the soft thrum and flutter of pigeons, and then vast green gardens filled with ashok trees, like lime-green popsicles, and parakeets of exactly the same impossible lime-green colour.
• That Chandela dynasty (AD 1000-1100) was pretty free-thinking as far as sexual mores go. There is nothing new under the sun. Google "carvings, temple, Khajuraho) if you're interested.
  
• If you hate the idea of being massaged naked or getting oil in your hair don't have an ayurvedic massage.
• No one has a sense of personal space here. People come up to us in the street, start squeezing our muscles and touching us, saying "Strong man, you in WWF? You strong, you fight Undertaker, but I think not win. (We presume they are talking of World Wrestling
  Federation, which is very popular here, on ALL television sets).

I won't describe in detail what we've seen and/or done. Let me just give you my top four things so far:

• Taj Mahal (see above).
  
• Amber Fort in Jaipur. High on a hill, those Moguls sure knew how to live with grace.
  
• Varanasi, india's holy city beside the Ganges, where Buddha gave his first sermon. Very cool and very zen.
  
• Khajuraho (see above).

Kisses and hugs liberally all around for everyone. Max and I now off to Kathmandu, and the mountains for some trecking.

Chapter 25: Mondo man resumes his travels

Friends, romans, countrymen: I've quit my job, and Max and I are outa here. We're off, off, off, into the wild blue yonder. On Wednesday, very early in the morning, we leave for Delhi. I have my double prescription of Cipromol ready. For the foreseeable future I am contactable
on this email, and hopefully (provided roaming works and Orange do not decide again for some spurious reason to bar my phone) on my mobile 07866 455 301.

The basic plan is as follows: India from 20 -29 April, around Rajastan (Taj Mahal etc), then from 29 April to 3 May in Nepal, from 4 May to 14 May in China, around Peking (do people still say Peking, or does everyone Beijing now?), Great Wall, Xian, Shanghai, etc, 14-22 May in Kota Kinabal in Borneo, where I hope to have several great (nonsexual) bonding experiences with
Orangutans, and do some great diving, then 22 May in Bangkok, then 23-26 May in Angor Wat, Cambodia, from 27 May to 20 June we are in Thailand. Initially, for the first 10 days, I shall be doing a fast, purification, and yoga retreat for 10 days on Koh Samui, while Max does his diving course on another island. My primary objective is to find my abdominal muscles again, before it's too late, but if I get some spiritual awakening that will be a plus too. After that I'm going to go join Max on his Island of Ko Tao until 26 June.

If you are anywhere near us, let's make an effort to meet, for I will be yearning to see my
friends again. After end June, who knows where the wind will blow us? Fortunately, the wind blows always, and it reaches all corners of the earth, and of the heart too. So our paths will cross again, I know that for sure. And it is not good bye, since i carry you in my heart with me as I travel always.... so many excellent memories. Thank you. Love you.